Hello Mario. What can I say? I did not understand all right, one thing is certain: you're in trouble. Li is facing with great generosity, not pull back even a little bit, but I think it's all beyond your own strength.
A friend of mine had this gift of life: his mother became ill with Parkinson's disease as a young man around 50 years. She had grown up with the idea that family problems are the family, and is ashamed to ask for help. The family came down to her and her mother, despite her being married and cohabitating with her husband as well, even with the mother-in-law. The mother-in-law who never was degnata di offrire il proprio aiuto . Quando la incontravo , dopo il matrimonio , mi facevo i fatti suoi chiedendo se per caso non arrivava un bambino . Ma lei diceva che un bambino proprio non se lo poteva permettere , con una malata grave in casa . La vita ad un certo punto ha preso il sopravvento e il bambino è arrivato da solo , si è imposto . La nonna col Parkinson era sempre meno gestibile e la mia amica si è rivolta ad una struttura pubblica . Da sola non era più in grado di prendersene cura, ma soffriva per questo, le sembrava di abbandonare la barca che affonda , di lasciare la mamma a se stessa . La sua mamma è morta un giorno quando lei non c'era . La mia amica ha vissuto questa morte malissimo . Ha sviluppato un senso di then he became a huge hit that anger, violence, resentment toward the mother-in-law, the continuing attacks against the husband. We, you and I, we see rarely, but the first thing I did when I realized some things , was trying to help her to forgive is not there, the day his mother died. Forgive even that he wanted to live, have allowed life to flow, and have allowed the birth of his son. For all this he felt guilty. Actually, I said, you did a heroic thing, you tried alone to face a serious illness so without aid. You yourself even a little sick, I told her, and now you have to be gentle with yourself , devi recuperare e cercare di essere felice. Te lo sei meritato. Ora scopro che il Comune di Arezzo ha creato un servizio per i familiari degli ammalati di queste lunghe malattie , per aiutarli non solo ad organizzarsi materialmente, ma a" pensare" se stessi e la famiglia dentro queste devastanti situazioni.
Il mio medico di famiglia, quando in estate gli chiedevo consigli su come organizzarsi col mio suocero definiva la mia e sua generazione come Mariolino di Orizzonti Padani : una generazione cuscinetto . Con altre parole , ma quello era il senso . Anche per noi è stato così. Da una parte gli anziani, che poveracci finora ce l'hanno fatta da soli, e non hanno fatto poco, considerando who have arrived over eighty virtually autonomous, and the other daughters who are of age and study, do odd jobs for short periods and for which the future is very uncertain. We in the middle, in a situation that needs to be organized .. Mario, you frighten me when you say that in our history we are not bearing the generation, maybe they will be my daughters. A gift so do not ever want him to do.
Last summer we went as a family, through this long term "near death" of my father. Summarize for the readers: it broke a hip in June, then it seemed that the operators, but there was a ban of the cardiologist, meanwhile has almost completely stopped eating and died after four months. My husband is an only child. My mother-in-law, after an initial period of constant presence, in the daytime, while nights were paid for the ladies, has collapsed. This small pill, you can imagine what there was in these four months. For example the allegation by some relatives that they were always there to serve my in-laws, before the accident. But we were well on their own, they replied. It is not true, they did not bother to believe. And so on between the cut and thrust that revealed two opposing views of life. My husband, in addition to pain and objective problem of the situation, he saw accused of not being a good son. May God forgive them. It 'been a difficult time, when I wrote the post, but I realize to the experience of Mario that was not anything. I've lived, as I have said many times as a debt to pay, that I had paid to a person and then I did it with another. A fundamental debt, a kind of sacred duty to be done well and membership, one thing that binds the generations and has been important, I believe, even for my daughters, who have helped and remember. I lived as a daughter, and that makes a difference. In fact, every little detail in these things makes a difference. A me mi ha permesso dopo un iniziale forte coinvolgimento, di prendere una distanza e razionalizzare . Di capire che non si poteva morire tutti, ma avevamo il dovere di continuare a vivere , anche di divertirci e scherzare . In questo la presenza dei figli è tanto utile, i vecchi fanno il peso morto , tirano indietro , i giovani , senza alcuna fatica, per natura , ti tirano in avanti .
L'ISTAT ha le sue statistiche , la sociologia le sue analisi. Ragionare sulle cose fa sempre bene , ma è vero, Mario, o Mariolino , dentro le storie ci siamo noi ed è tutta un'altra faccenda. Vorrei essere lì a darti una mano , intanto ti abbraccio con affetto anche se non ti ho mai visto, non so che faccia hai, ma mi sembra di conoscerti hundred years, with your stories I've done a great gift.
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